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24 de março de 2008

 

Análise de discurso com El Hombre Maíz



Nova série que vou tentar iniciar aqui no cara de Milho, onde farei uma séria análise de discursos famosos. Pra começar peguei o vídeo do velhinho que comeu e não pagou. Acho difícil que alguém ainda não conheça esse vídeo, mas se for o caso, aqui está o link.

Verde - Velho
Vermelho - Puta
Azul - Repórter


(v) - ...um real e ainda pra fazer caridade!

Aqui o velho assume uma atitude esnobe, muito comum nas tecnicas de sedução masculina, conhecida com NEG. Trata-se de desprezar o sexo feminino mostrando-se superior a elas para assim atrair sua atenção. Mais detalhes dobre NEGs podem ser encontrados em livros como Manual de artes venusianas, Double your Dating, The Game, entre outros.

(P) - Eu mereço quanto, amor?


A prostituta também domina tecnicas de sedução, porém femininas. O velho, desde logo, não é seu amor, é apenas um cliente mais, contudo, ao incluir o "amor" no final da pergunta a um velho solitário ela espera criar nele a ilusão de que ele é um ser querido pela biscate e por isso pagará mais pelo serviço (que normalmente vale 30 reais, como veremos no decorrer da conversa)

(V) - Você num merece nem um centavo!


O velho insiste nos NEGs, abusa deles, o que é um erro muito comum em quem recém está aprendendo as técnicas de sedução masculina. NEGs devem ser usados muito sutilmente e apenas quando a mulher se crê superior a você. Ou seja, o primeiro erro é usar a frase nada sutil "Você não merece nem um centavo" e o segundo erro é continuar dando NEGs em uma mulher que já se humilhou demais em chamar a TV e a polícia pra fazer você pagar 30 reais. Na verdade há quem acredite também um terceiro erro: Pra que aplicar tecnicas de sedução numa prostituta? Mas a resposta é clara: Pra não ter que pagar pelo serviço, aliás, esse é o centro da questão, mas ele botou tudo a perder nessa última frase. Repito: rapazes, cuidado com os NEGs!

(P) - Me respeite


Claro sinal de que o velho perdeu o controle da situação.

(R) Dê uma rodadinha, uma rodadinha, dê uma rodadinha, uma rodadinha

Aqui o repórter entra em cena. Até o momento ele achava que era apenas uma matéria sem graça a mais no seu programa, por isso a apelação pela "rodadinha", pois quando algo não tem graça, a apelação sexual é um ponto a se considerar. Vide A Praça é Nossa, Zorra Total e afins.

(V) eu ia dar 5 reais pra fazer caridade

O velho parece se dar conta do seu erro e assume outra postura, a do cavalheiro. Antes, não ia pagar nem um centavo, agora está decidido a dar 5 reais, o que é uma proposta 500 vezes maior que a inicial. Na verdade, todas essas atitudes do velho são friamente calculadas, ele se revela um assíduo praticante das tecnicas de sedução. Essa opção pelo cavalheirismo é ensinada por Neil Strauss em seu livro The Game. Trata-se de atuar de forma amável logo depois de uma bela esnobada, causando assim uma sensação dúbia e enigmática sobre seu verdadeiro caráter, o que teoricamente faria com que a mulher te visse como alguém interessante e imprevisível. Obviamente é tarde demais para o velho fazer uso desse recurso. Ninguém que diz que a mulher não vale um centavo será visto como alguém interessante.

(P) Me respeite véi sevérgonho, me respeite!

A prostituta, antes disposta a se humilhar, adota uma atitude conflitiva e esnobe, fazendo uso inclusive de vocábulos difíceis para se mostrar superior. É o caso da expressão "sévergonho" que é um neologismo, criado através da aglutinação de sem + vergonha

(V) - Você num merece nem um centavo!

O velho, ao reparar que agora ela se crê superior, volta aos NEGs.

(P) - Eu sou mulé de cinco cen, cinco, cinco real, tenha vergonha, você vai me pagar na delegacia, viu?

Orgulho ferido, não há sedutor que resolva.

(V) eu ia dar cinco real pq tinha dó de voce


O velho volta a assumir a postura do homem imprevisível, agora tenta amolecer o coração da quenga ao explicar sua compaixão perante a ela.

(P) você vai me pagar! DÓ NÃO que eu num lhe devo na-da. Minha...eu sou uma prostituta, a minha prostituição, olhe, a minha vida é uma prostituição, viu? Eu sou uma Profissional do Sé-ki-Çu!

A prostituta volta a se mostrar superior através de seu rico vocabulário, antes ela havia feito uso de um neologismo, agora ela ataca de Arcaísmo, pronunciando "sexo" da mesma maneira que sua bisavó lhe havia ensinado.

(v) ...pq queria roubar minha carteira todinha


Tentativa barata de mudar de assunto. Todas tecnicas anteriores falharam e ele tenta criar um novo cenário na conversa.

(P) eu sou uma profissional do Sé-ki-Çu!


Ela insiste no Arcaísmo

(V) - É isso eu concordo...


O velho na verdade não concorda, mas ele dá a razão pra ela com o intuito de anular esse argumento. Uma vez que você concorda com seu oponente num determinado argumento, ele não pode mais usá-lo contra você. É como tirar dele essa arma.

(R) - Mas ela não fez bem feito?


Os argumentos, tando da puta quanto do velho, se repetem, o que é um claro sinal de que a conversa não está rendendo e vai ficar girando em círculos. O repórter tenta abrir um novo cenário pra que os argumentos concluam em algo.

(V) - Nham... fez bem feito não, ela não fez bem feito não.

As tentativas anteriores de conquistar a prostituta com o intuito de não ter que pagá-la falharam, agora o velho entrará em novos argumentos baseados principalmente nos direitos do consumidor, que indica que ninguém tem que pagar por um produto ou serviço pelo qual se sintam lesados. A tatica agora será desmerecer os serviços prestados pela prostituta.

(P) E como você gozou?

Argumento fortíssimo. Se gozou, gostou. O orgasmo é uma prova contundente da satisfação do cliente com o serviço oferecido pela prostituta. Vale lembrar que aqui não acabe o argumento do orgasmo simulado, já que isso é uma arma que só as mulheres tem. Homens não tem como simular orgasmos (se bem que eu já simulei um, mas eu e ela estávamos bêbados e doidos pra acabar com aquilo, daí foi fácil)

(V) Ela queria dar o cu, chupou a minha rola, ch-ch, queria dar o cu, chupou a minha rola, chupou a rola mais de uma hora

O velho insiste na desmoralização do serviço oferecido com o fim de não pagá-lo. Reparem em como ele é consciente dos aspectos jurídicos da questão: ele diz que ela "queria dar o cu", notem que ele não afirmar que ela o tenha dado, apenas quis. Isso porque um simples exame no ânus da prostituta poderia desmentir a afirmação do velho, e ela o processaria por calúnia.
Na verdade nem seria necessário um exame, basta analisar a frase em todo seu contexto: Se ele afirma que ela chupou a rola dele, logo não poderia ter dado o cu antes, por razões óbvias.
Há quem acredite que ela poderia tê-lo processado por calúnia por afirmar que ela "chupou a rola mais de uma hora", visto que é notório que nenhuma mulher chupa por mais de uma hora (que pena, né?!), mas isso é difícil de provar, e além do mais, o velho poderia argumentar que "mais de uma hora" era uma hipérbole, que na gramática nada mais é que uma figura de estilo que consiste no exagero de expressão, ampliando a verdadeira dimensão das coisas.


(P) deixe de mentira, tenha vergonha, isso é conversa

Tentativa de desmerecer o discurso do velho. Como os dois estavam provavelmente sozinhos durante o ato, e muito do que aconteceu ali não há como provar, fica a palavra de um contra o a do outro.

(V) mais de uma hora chupando a rola, i dipois quiria dar o cu, eu não, Deus me livre.


O velho insiste na mesma base anterior, só que agora se põe de puritano ao soltar um "Deus me livre" no final do discurso. Ele é consciente que numa sociedade conservadora como a brasileira, alguém que responde a uma tentativa de sexo anal com um "Deus me Livre" tem mais chances de ganhar a razão.

(P) ...ta bom, eu to passada de vergonha, gente. Quem me ve aqui pensa que tá por roubo!


Ela saca a jogada do velho de se fazer de vítima e adota a mesma postura. Ela sabe que se deixar a conversa seguir esse rumo, seu oponente será visto como um senhor de idade muito honrado que só faz sexo limpo, enquanto ela será a moça que dá o cu por 30 reais, logo tenta aceitação popular ao dizer que se sente envergonhada, e a sociedade gosta de moças que se sentem envergonhadas, mas infelizmente não é o caso dela, já que nenhuma mulher tímida sairia na TV dizendo que é profissional do Sé-ki-çu.


(R) Não, não tá por roubo, aquiii é...é vitima né!? Vai ser resolvido agora, vai ser resolvido agora na delegacia, mas o senhor, o senhor chegou aaa..chegou a gozar?

Na cabeça do repórter seria uma materia mais, portanto ele fez de tudo para incendiá-la e conseguiu o que queria, ou seja, as declarações chulas do velho. Ao ver que a prostituta se nega a argumentar nos mesmos termos e que o debate tomava um aspecto muito vitimista de ambas partes, ele tenta provocar mais uma vez.

(V) Nhaum euu meti a rola na periquita dela e fiquei um tempo e depois saí né!? hum, depois ela atrepou-se em mim e meteu a boca a chupar a minha rola até quando cansou, chupou a rola...

O velho dá o que o repórter tava pedindo, ele sabe da importância de ter a mídia ao seu lado em questões judiciais. Consciente da sua falha ao adotar no começo a postura de sedutor, ele se centra apenas nos aspectos judiciais da questão, fazendo-se passar por homem honrado. Notem que por um momento ele abandona os termos chulos, ao referir-se infantilmente à vagina da biscate como "periquita" e vejam que ele começa até a falar difícil, como na sentença "atrepou-se em mim" em que faz uso do arcaísmo, assim como antes fez sua oponente.

(R) Ela não merece 30 reais?


Saciado com o sucesso de sua reportagem, e temendo ser visto como um aproveitador da desgraça alheia,o repórter agora se concentra em agradar ambas as partes para salvar sua imagem.

(V) 5 real pra fazê caridade rapaz!!


O velho está seguro de sua vitória e volta a dedicar-se à filantropia.

Marcadores:


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